Outrage at Plane Passenger's Response to Not Being Able To Switch Seats

A passenger's decision to refuse a seat swap request on a flight has gone viral on Reddit, sparking heated discussion about airplane etiquette. The post, titled "Finally said no," was shared by u/SilentExplanation844 in the r/delta subreddit and has garnered over 29,000 upvotes since it was shared on March 18. The poster detailed their experience, explaining that they had chosen an aisle seat and were approached by a couple asking them to switch so they could sit together. When the poster asked if the alternate seat was also an aisle, they were informed it was a middle seat. "It was then that I felt a shift within me," the poster wrote. "I looked at this woman and her husband and simply said, 'no thanks.'" A June 2023 survey of 1,000 plane passengers in the U.S. and Canada conducted on behalf of the travel booking website Kayak found that 54 percent of passengers believe it is acceptable to request a seat swap, as long as the request is made politely. Additionally, 58 percent of travelers agreed that asking to sit next to a family member, partner, or friend is reasonable because "people have a grain of empathy." Etiquette expert Jo Hayes told Newsweek that while it is acceptable to decline a swap, there is a right way to do it. "It's more than OK to say 'no.' However, there is a way to do this—and a way not to," Hayes said. She noted that people-pleasers often struggle with declining such requests but emphasized the importance of maintaining boundaries. "The MO [modus operandi] for communicating this is: kind, calm, clear, concise," she advised. Instead of abruptly declining, Hayes suggested a more diplomatic approach: "I'm sorry, but I'd prefer not to."

'Culture of Entitlement'

The poster's refusal to swap seats was not well received by the couple, according to the poster. "The look on her face! You would've thought I slapped her," they wrote. The woman then took her middle seat beside the Redditor while her husband sat a row behind. As soon as they were seated, the woman expressed her frustration to her husband, saying she "didn't like being so far away from him" and that the flight would be "absolutely awful without him right next to her." While Hayes encouraged passengers to be polite in refusing a swap, she also criticized the couple's response. "The people requesting the seat swap should respect the decision and not argue or lay on the guilt trip. Again, the person has every right to say no. If a couple wants to sit together, they should book their seats together. It's that simple." The poster acknowledged feeling initial guilt but quickly became resolute in their decision. "Perhaps it was frustrating family dynamics from my vacation or just being completely exhausted, but I was pretty happy with myself as I slipped on my noise-cancelling headphones to drown them out and took myself a guilt-free nap," they wrote. The post quickly attracted thousands of comments, with the vast majority supporting the Redditor's decision. Many users criticized the couple for expecting a stranger to inconvenience themselves. U/MagpieSkies wrote: "People don't seem to understand. If you are brave enough to ask, you have to be brave enough to handle a 'NO.' Good job practicing breaking your people-pleasing tendencies, OP [original poster]!" Another commenter, u/RalphKramden, called out a "culture of entitlement," writing "You did the right thing, and I probably would have done the same." Some saw the couple's reaction as manipulative. User u/dvmx2 said: "That was 100 percent manipulation, trying to make you feel guilty. Good on you for not caving." Others pointed out the importance of planning ahead. "If they needed to sit together, they could have paid for seat selection. I don't get why people are upset when others refuse to switch seats," wrote u/VoidUnknown315. U/aXiss95 noted: "These people don't plan. If they understood cause and effect, they wouldn't pull this s***. They just default to toddler instincts when it goes wrong. Anger or upset. Hoping that by making enough noise they will get their way." Many commenters believe that no one should feel obligated to move—especially when being asked to trade their seat for a less desirable one. "Am I crazy that people are considering this to actually be an actual acceptable thing to ask someone to switch aisle for middle seat?!?" wrote u/bettereverydamday. Another commenter, u/surf-nyc, noted: "I will say—it's honestly baffling that the person who asked you this thought that this would be a normal, sensible trade? Like in what world lol."Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.Do you have a travel-related video or story to share? Let us know via life@newsweek.com and your story could be featured on Newsweek.