Mom Cancelling Trip After Husband Gives Tickets to Widowed Cousin Cheered

A mom who canceled a family vacation after learning her husband gave the tickets away to his widowed cousin, and his kids, has been applauded. The woman shared the dilemma to Reddit, under username u/Specific-Main5699, explaining she and her husband, 36, planned on an out-of-state ski trip with their two kids. The mom-of-two revealed his cousin, 38, lost his wife to cancer six months ago, leaving behind two kids of similar age to her own, 6 and 9. The 33-year-old said her husband was understandably "devastated" for his cousin's loss, but she felt he'd crossed a line when he gave away their family vacation to the grieving dad and his kids.

Art Shaikh, founder & CEO of CircleIt, a death and grief tech company, told Newsweek there are many ways to help family members deal with loss. Shaikh said: "Helping people get away for a while is a very beautiful gesture. In the specific case of the story in the Reddit post, I think there are other ways people can help their loved ones deal with their grief that don't necessarily involve sacrificing for others. "But this could be a teachable moment for the gentleman's kids, who can take the lesson of kindness their father displayed and perhaps learn to do the same for others as they get older." SUBSCRIBE TO THE PARTING SHOT WITH H. ALAN SCOTT
ON APPLE PODCASTS OR SPOTIFY While Iman Gatti, certified grief recovery specialist and author, felt the husband's actions caused "more discomfort to deal with because his wife and kids are grieving their holiday and the loss of trust because he betrayed them." She told Newsweek: "Sending people on a holiday to work through their grief is a lovely distraction, and would grant them the space to have privacy while they grieve. "However, I would only do this if: you have the money to spare, it wasn't taking it away from your own family, and you consulted the grieving family first to see if that would be helpful." The chart below, from Statista, shows U.S. life expectancy. The mom thought her husband had been doing "too much" for the family, explaining: "He suggested we take [cousin's] kids with us to the resort to get their mind off the grief a bit. I apologized and said it wouldn't, since we barely have budget to cover for our kids. "He insisted then tried offering compromises but I still said it wouldn't work. He was obviously p****d but dropped it eventually." But just two days before they were due to leave, she realized her husband had booked the tickets for his cousin's kids, and not their own. The mom fumed that she was paying for everything, but her husband handled the booking and reservations. "I was stunned... I called him out on it and he apologetically talked about how [cousin] needs some alone time away from the kids, how the kids need a breather, and how they need this vacation more than our kids do. I flipped out at him asking if he seriously OK with prioritizing others' kids over his own," she continued. He claimed it was about helping the other kids out, and their own children would "understand." "I said no," she said, confirming she refused to budge, and canceled the whole trip. The mom continued: "He freaked out on me saying I can't do that and make him look small in front of his cousin and family since they praised him for this "nice gesture". "I refused to negotiate it but he called me horribly, selfish and cruel towards grieving kids and said that he'll make sure our own kids know how I'm behaving towards the other kids by robbing them of the fun they so much need and deserve." She claimed he keeps throwing "fit after fit," saying she "ruined it for everybody." But while the mom admitted she "felt bad" for the children, she thought her husband was in the wrong.

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The post amassed more than 16,000 upvotes since being posted on Saturday, as people sided with the mom. While seemingly coming up with a compromise, Rude-Raise-7498's comment, which amassed 42,000 upvotes alone, said: "Tell your husband to stay home with his cousin's kids while you take your kids on the vacation. Don't cancel your plans on account of your husband's need to feel like the hero. "He is free to have his cousin's kids for that week at your home so his cousin can have some alone time. And you can go away on your planned vacation with your children. Everybody wins. NTA." Ok_Investigator8544 replied: "This is gold. It is ACTUALLY a compromise. If the husband's true goal is to give everyone a "breather," this accomplishes said goal beautifully." Letstrythisagain30 thought: "The problem is she won't be around to take care of the kids which was probably his actual plan. I doubt he would have taken primary care of the kids on the trip." While Crafting_with_Kyky said: "Also, he doesn't mind his kids missing out on the trip, but he'd probably throw a fit if he was the one left out." Newsweek reached out to u/Specific-Main5699 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.