Wife Refusing To Go on Vacation With Husband's Terminal Niece Sparks Fury

A woman has been slammed for refusing to go on vacation with her husband's family even though it is his niece's dying wish. In a viral Reddit post on Sunday, a 29-year-old woman using the handle aita_vacation explained that she and her husband Rick, 35, were planning to visit France in early 2023. They have been researching hotels and flights, but nothing has been booked yet. Now Rick wants to postpone the European vacation, so the couple can instead go on a trip with his terminally ill niece, Anna, and her parents. Anna, 23, wants to see the northern lights, so the family is planning to travel to Fairbanks, Alaska, in hopes of granting her wish. The 29-year-old was not pleased, she wrote, and told Rick "he can go on a trip with his sister on his own." She asked "Am I the A**hole" readers which of them was in the right—and the overwhelming majority told her that she was the guilty party.

Arguments over extended family members are common for couples, according to therapists, and communication is key when it comes to resolving the issues. Newsweek spoke to Rebecca Lockwood, a coach and trainer based in the U.K., about the viral post. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PARTING SHOT WITH H. ALAN SCOTT
ON APPLE PODCASTS OR SPOTIFY She said: "It can be hard to change plans when you have an idea of what you want to do in your mind and you are looking forward to it. It can also be anxiety-inducing when you have a set criterion in your mind of what is going to happen and that changes due to circumstances outside of your control." She added: "Sometimes it can feel as though other people don't 'get' your reasons and choices and that is OK. It's also important to understand others' reasons and choices too. When we are put in situations where there is a conflict between choices, especially in long-term relationships, it's important to try and see things from each perspective. You can do this by asking yourself, 'Why do they want to do this differently?' and thinking as them, allowing yourself to really see things from their point of view." In the Reddit post, the original poster (OP) appeared to be struggling to see the situation from Rick's point of view. She wrote: "I understand him, but we've pretty much planned out our France trip. Rick is insisting that he 'needs' to go. I got a little upset and replied he can if he wants, but I won't be joining him and I'll go to France with my family instead. He's been sulking and mad at me. I think he's the one being unreasonable here."

What Was the Verdict From Readers?

More than 3,300 comments have been left on the post and most of them are extremely critical of the OP. One Redditor wrote: "Hubby should take note of how she treats dying family members." The top-rated comment, which has more than 30,000 votes, read: "His niece is terminally ill, which—unless I'm mistaken—means she is going to die pretty soon. You have not booked your holiday, as you said. You have chosen what you want but nothing is paid for. So then your SIL tells your husband that they want to give Anna a make-a-wish-style situation by giving her the chance to see the northern lights. And your response, instead of being supportive, is 'Go on your own'? "[What] is wrong with you? Get your head out of your backside. His family member is dying. If you do decide to go to France, stay there." Another posted: "OP has the rest of her life to plan an unforgettable trip, OP's husband's niece doesn't have that luxury." Newsweek has reached out to the OP for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.